To cut or not to cut…that is the question.

Last April, we added another addition to our family.
His name is Boudreaux.

We named him after a Cajun shrimper we met on the coast because obviously, when I imagine him being able to speak it’s certainly with a Cajun accent.
“Laissez les Bon Temps Roulez!”

Feel free to send baby gifts.

We accept credit cards, personal checks and most importantly, gift cards for dog food.

Boudreaux comes from a long line of champion dock jumpers…which means for us, he can jump over my head while I’m trying to feed him.

He started out cute, cuddly and had sweet puppy breath. Within a week he became a 100 lb, foul smelling, voraciously chewing ding dong of a dog on crack. There is nothing on the outside of my house he hasn’t demolished…including outdoor electrical plugs. This long list of items includes water hoses, an expensive set of wicker patio furniture and cushions, and various toys. He also feels the need to dig up plants and shrubs and proudly destroy them at my back door.
I no longer plant flowers or decorate the house.
I have considered putting log chains on my tires.
On top of this, he has a strong affinity for smelling everyone’s crotch…or as Ella says, “crouch.”

 

The dog is possessed.

 

Around the age of five months, he began humping everything…and I do mean everything. He had a special affection for my daughters folding Spongebob chair. He humped for days and days until got pissed off and ate it.
He pooped yellow Spongebob particles for days.

This week he discovered the neighbors 20 lb mix breed. The multicolor hair, the petite frame and the ever constant presence of a female rear in his face was more than he could handle.

Picture if you will, Kristen Chenowith and Dennis Rodman.

 

Welcome to my world.

 

Rico and I have an ongoing discussion/argument about whether to cut his nuts off.

Obviously, I am all for it. Rico, uh, not so much.

It seems men have an aversion to cutting off nuts even when they are not the owners of said nuts.

I mean, I am pro-castration for any male who runs off and sleeps with the bitch down the road…man or canine. Agreed?

Snip! Snip!

Just sayin’

3 Comments so far

Comments for the post:
To cut or not to cut…that is the question.

  1. 1

    Meno Due Palle said,

    January 10, 2012 at 8:19 am:

    As a man who has been “castrated” — not for cheating but for medical reasons — I think this post’s final paragraphs might be a bit glib. I certainly hope you don’t think castration is a sane response to cheating. There’s a lot more to removing a man’s testicles, especially for the man, than just Snip! Snip!

    I understand that you are being humorus and I don’t mean to be a killjoy. My sense of humor was certainly not removed along with my testicles.

    Snip! Snip!

  2. 2

    Dejoni said,

    January 10, 2012 at 9:18 am:

    Dear Meno,
    First I would like to say that I am very sorry for your condition.
    Second, this is a humor blog. Everything said here is from my voice and what I find funny.
    Do you honestly think I would remove a mans testicles for infidelity? If that was the case, I would have been in prison a long time ago.
    It is much more fun to antagonize and torment them for the rest of their life.
    I am sorry you are offended. That was never my intention. As I frequently make crude jokes and say off the wall things, maybe it would be best if you didn’t visit my little blog to avoid further problems.

  3. 3

    Anne Hogan said,

    January 10, 2012 at 10:52 am:

    DO IT!!  It will make you all so much happier – including sweet Boudreaux. 

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