My greatest fear…

I have lots of fears.

Snakes.

Mice.

Driving across large bridges.

My daughters becoming strippers.

The demise of MAC Cosmetics.

Salmonella.

Parallel parking my SUV.

Forgetting to renew my subscription to People Magazine.

Some are relevant but most are silly.

However, they are real to me and since this is my soap box, I get to share my neurotic symptomology with all of you.

Yesterday, Glenn Beck announced he was suffering from macular dystrophy and would likely be blind within a year.

Now I have a new fear.

I don’t want to go blind.

 Never, ever, ever.

Most of you probably think it’s because I would be unable to adapt, because I wouldn’t see my girls beautiful faces or be unable to drive.

Well yes, that would be part of the fear, but I know I would adapt and my memory would serve me well in remembering faces, colors, landscapes and navigating.

The MAIN reason I am scared to death of going blind is my husband.

He would then be in charge of the task of dressing me.

Holy Crap.  (Shudder) It makes me just nauseous thinking about it.

I mean, he’s a great dresser. He has good taste in his own clothes.

But for me…..eehhmm, well, not so much.

You see, I like to dress like this…

And he would like for me to dress like this…

Not just in the privacy of our bedroom…but out in public.

Uh, yeah.

You see my concern?

I can NOT be walking around in stripper heels, wearing a trashy outfit from cheapstrippers.com while trying to read the braille version of Garden & Gun Magazine.

It just can’t happen folks.

Tonight won’t you all join with me in prayer to the patron saint of eyesight, Saint Lucy for the preservation of my eyesight?

Thank you Jesus.

Amen.

7 Comments so far

Comments for the post:
My greatest fear…

  1. 1

    Kiki said,

    July 22, 2010 at 12:51 pm:

    i'm on my knees right now…praying for you. praying for you and your eyesight. love that dress BTW. the white one, not the skanky black one. i think i saw that dress on one of the kardashians. i also fear bridges and mice. i fear moths, too. take care , SFM.

  2. 2

    Joy Coffey said,

    July 22, 2010 at 4:55 pm:

    thanks for the laugh. your story telling is the best.

  3. 3

    AiredaleGirl said,

    July 23, 2010 at 1:34 am:

    Hmmm. I hadn't thought of it quite that way, but you have a point- going blind scares me for reasons of personal vanity. I was mortified when they almost killed me with the Dipravan at Norton and I wasn't able to get up to do my makeup for almost four days- what would happen if somebody had to put it on for me? *shudder*

  4. 4

    AiredaleGirl said,

    July 23, 2010 at 1:34 am:

    Hmmm. I hadn't thought of it quite that way, but you have a point- going blind scares me for reasons of personal vanity. I was mortified when they almost killed me with the Dipravan at Norton and I wasn't able to get up to do my makeup for almost four days- what would happen if somebody had to put it on for me? *shudder*

  5. 5

    Tracey from These Nine Acres said,

    August 1, 2010 at 12:34 pm:

    Oh my gosh, I am crying after reading this post. Hysterical! I said a prayer for you ;0) Stopped over from Farmchick and glad I did. xoxo

  6. 6

    Keith Rackley said,

    August 2, 2010 at 12:43 am:

    Well I started out looking for Confucius art for a presentation for my boys (trying to keep their brains active over the summer) and my very unstructured research led me to your site. Definitely a hoot, really enjoyed many of your posts as concentrated, practical wisdom. All the best to you and your family.

  7. 7

    Amy Mac said,

    August 10, 2010 at 3:01 am:

    Girl, I hear ya. I think it's important while we're teaching our daughters stripping is not a viable career path, we also teach them how to pick appropriate clothes for mommy should our eyes forsake us.

Trackbacking?

Leave Your Comment:

Your e-mail address will never be displayed, however both your name and email are required. Please be mindful of what you're posting.
Press "Submit Comment" when you are finished and wish to publish your comment.