First of all, I would like to thank you for bringing your company to my small town, A.K.A. Hooterville. It is a great convenience for me and other members of my village to have quick access to health care necessities without making the 25 mile drive to the Wally World in the neighboring town.
Although some of your items are pricey, I realize that’s the price of convenience and that you make up for it with the occasional 2 for 1 Maybelline Black Lash Mascara sale that the Wally World never, ever has…and this makes me happy.
‘Cause a girl always needs mascara, especially when she is a fair skinned bottled natural blond.
I am also very happy with the vast inventory your store keeps in stock.
Everything from Tylenol to hemmorroid ointment to tampons to denture cream.
Not that I need denture cream, mind you, but I am glad to know that if that day comes, it’s right here close to home.
You even carry the seasonal items that I overlook until the last minute, like Valentine’s Day cards. I would have had a very pissed off 11 year old had you not been there for me.
For that, I am eternally grateful.
However, last week when I was in your facility and standing in front of the pharmacy counter, I was put in a very awkward situation with my oldest daughter. Right at eye level was a plethora of adult… ahem, intimacy aides.
It looked like the Hustler store threw up on Hooterville.
So, I’m standing there with 15 people old enough to be my grandmother, humming Bridge Over Troubled Water, staring at the ceiling and sweating so profusely I think I may need to buy some maxi pads for my pits as my 11 year old is reading the label on every sexual aid product in your store.
But the one product that REALLY sparks her interest is this…
Warm Lovin’.
Really?
Although I’m sure Warm Lovin’ is a fantastic product, and feel free to include me on any free sample list, I do not feel comfortable purchasing this product in a display so accessible to my 11 year old.
It would be my suggestion to move said product to the feminine hygiene aisle or hemorrhoid aisle, as those are places she wouldn’t be caught dead in.
Hope you take the suggestions to heart as there are several products I’d like to try soon….like, maybe this weekend.
Your Loyal Customer,
SFM
