I know it’s the new year and I’m supposed to evaluate my life and make resolutions of all the things I want to accomplish over the next 365 days. But we all know how that’s gonna end. I won’t do any of it. I’ll feel guilty about it and it will make me more grumpier than I already am. And I don’t need any help in the grumpy area. Just ask Rico.
So, I thought I would figure out all the bone headed things I did last year and vow not to repeat them.
1. I will not dye my hair red. Nor, will I cut it all off when the “oh crap, I look like a corpse with red hair” shock kicks in. I will not bleach it back and turn my hair into a bad scarecrow wig. I will not ignore my friends who say, “Don’t do it dumb ass.”
2. I will not get my feelings hurt when mentally challenged kids take one look at me and declare I am “one hot mess.”
3. I will not miss out on the Waffle House Romantic Redneck Valentine’s dinner. Yes, I will be partaking in some scattered, smothered, covered, diced, capped hash brown ambrosia. Nothing says love like eating enough grease to cause a coronary.
4. I will not be sasshaying across the floor during a construction job and almost cut my coochie off. Because I really need my coochie. Enough said.
5. I will not lease another vehicle this year or as long as I live. Especially when the vehicle gives me delusions of grandeur of being a sheik. Besides, all that sand has to eventually end up in your shorts.
6. I will not let my husband buy work vehicles without me and risk us all dying of tetanus.
7. I will not forget to take some Valium before I go to church with the kids on Easter Sunday.
8. I will not be boastful about my lawn mower.
9. I will not get road rage in Alabama.
10. I will not be a “bitch.”
Thanks for a great year peeps!
Angela said,
January 5, 2010 at 5:24 am:
LOVE it! You are too funny girl! Hope your year is fabulous! xoxo
OH! I see you have a twitter….Hope it's ok if I follow. = )
kathycreativehomeexpressions said,
January 5, 2010 at 6:43 pm:
That's a great picture of you in this post! Is that before or after the red/chopped off/scarecrow hair? I was thinking of trying auburn, which is really just a variation of red, isn't it? I vow to comment on your blog instead of just reading it and not commenting! I've enjoyed your posts this year and look forward to what you have to say in 2010.
Farmchick said,
January 6, 2010 at 11:13 pm:
The good thing about you not repeating all of those things…..you are going to do some new stuff that will crack me up.
gayle said,
January 7, 2010 at 1:39 pm:
Would love to follow you but I'm so dumb …I can't find your follow thingey. Help!!