Living in the country has it’s perks.
I don’t have to close my blinds when I change my clothes. I can burn crap in my yard.
I can even shuck my shorts and pee in my backyard.
Not that I would do anything like that cause I’m a lady and all…but I could if I wanted too.
However, living in the country has it’s downfalls and you can run into the majority of them in one November week.
Like snakes…
Yes, people. A snake…in November. Is it ever safe?
This made me pee on myself in the backyard.
This is one of the reasons I married my husband. ‘Cause he ain’t afraid of snakes.
And I am afraid of snakes.
The other reasons I married my husband are:
1. Parallel parking.
2. Killing wasps.
3. Sex.
And for those times when I go out to feed the farm cats in my screened in porch during the wee hours of the night and scream hysterically, he comes running with a flashlight.
And when he hollers for a gun and I bring a pistol, he doesn’t laugh but patiently explains which rifle he needs…
So he can shoot a rabies infested critter in my porch without shooting the gas grill tank and blowing up our house…
Yes, I married him because he’s a sharp shooter who can kill raccoons on my porch.
There, I said it.
And because he will clean up all this after the massacre…
He married me ’cause I’m FABULOUS.
