Living in the country has it’s perks.
I don’t have to close my blinds when I change my clothes. I can burn crap in my yard.
I can even shuck my shorts and pee in my backyard.
Not that I would do anything like that cause I’m a lady and all…but I could if I wanted too.
However, living in the country has it’s downfalls and you can run into the majority of them in one November week.
Like snakes…
Yes, people. A snake…in November. Is it ever safe?
This made me pee on myself in the backyard.
This is one of the reasons I married my husband. ‘Cause he ain’t afraid of snakes.
And I am afraid of snakes.
The other reasons I married my husband are:
1. Parallel parking.
2. Killing wasps.
3. Sex.
And for those times when I go out to feed the farm cats in my screened in porch during the wee hours of the night and scream hysterically, he comes running with a flashlight.
And when he hollers for a gun and I bring a pistol, he doesn’t laugh but patiently explains which rifle he needs…
So he can shoot a rabies infested critter in my porch without shooting the gas grill tank and blowing up our house…
Yes, I married him because he’s a sharp shooter who can kill raccoons on my porch.
There, I said it.
And because he will clean up all this after the massacre…
He married me ’cause I’m FABULOUS.
Lara said,
November 24, 2009 at 11:34 am:
A favorite in my household is the occasional bat up in our rafters. Out comes the BB gun and “sniper dad.” Haha. Hey, we was on the rifle team in high school. Imagine that?
stina said,
November 24, 2009 at 11:52 am:
wow. your hubs is amazing. my hubs would run from the snakes, he’s petrified of them, and would stay inside with me if there was a rabid critter on the front porch. don’t get me wrong, he IS a man, but he isn’t when it comes to killing stuff. he goes hunting but won’t shoot anything. have a wonderful holiday. did Rico shoot your Thanksgiving bird?
Betty Judd said,
November 24, 2009 at 12:15 pm:
Love your website. Too funny!
hotpants™ said,
November 24, 2009 at 2:20 pm:
We don’t have snakes in our neck of the woods, but I grab my husband for every spider.
AiredaleGirl said,
November 24, 2009 at 5:44 pm:
But, but, it warn’t nothin but a rackety-coon…*sniffle*
Becky said,
November 24, 2009 at 5:47 pm:
I married mine for all that.
He married me for sex. tee hee
Farmchick said,
November 24, 2009 at 6:43 pm:
Ummmm….thought I might pee in my own pants over those pictures of Rico on the front porch. Especially of him peering over the edge. Love the question, “Did he shoot your Thanksgiving Bird”. Maybe that should be, “Is he going to shoot one of those gulf shrimp”?
DeepKickGirl said,
November 26, 2009 at 3:13 pm:
This is exactly why we lived in an apartment three storeys up. No snakes in here, or rabid racoons (well, we don’t have rabies or racoons in Australia). I think nature is best viewed from a safe distance, say from the other side of television screen.
pissy said,
November 28, 2009 at 6:38 pm:
You ARE hilarious!
Btw…thanks for keeping it real with the bloody aftermath photo. LOL
azn8tive said,
December 1, 2009 at 8:33 pm:
OMG – you are too funny!!!
BTW – does Rico have any sure fire ways of ridding the house of a stealthy mouse?
AiredaleGirl said,
December 3, 2009 at 5:42 pm:
Well, today I picked up an Airedale puppy from the shelter here in Lake Redneckville for rescue, and when I got him to the vet, they looked over the shot records- he was vaccinated for Parvo, but they didn’t use the full combo vax. Ergo, he is not vaccinated against leptospirosis…
Lepto is transmitted, I was told, by raccoons. If they pee in a puddle and the dog drinks, well, guess what? So, now I can see why you must have Rico kill the masked buggers. Puppy-puppy will have to have his Parvo combo repeated in two weeks with his boosters so that he gets the Lepto vax! Boo, hiss!!!
Sharlene said,
December 5, 2009 at 2:42 pm:
Oh my gosh you are a crack up. Poor little raccoon though. Oh! I want to cry. I guess you can tell I am not a country gal. We don’t own a gun let alone shoot anything furry and cute. We visit them in zoos….
ali said,
December 8, 2009 at 3:15 pm:
HOLY CRAP that is a lot of blood on the porch. EEEEEEEK!! I need a coon-killin man like that. DC’s racoons are as big as labradors!