Back in April, Rico and I were pondering what our next move would be after the end of our Land Rover lease.
I was thinking something on the lines of a VW Jetta. Small and economical to ferry the children around.
Rico, well, he had other ideas.
He wanted something massive. Something safe. Something big enough we could separate the girls to eliminate fighting. Something with a little bling.
He found a vehicle…in Minnesota.
Barely off the lot, it had been struck in the side and had minimal damage. It was well below cost of a new one.
We agreed. My lease would be up in June and we would buy this vehicle and have it fixed.
Life was good.
My first clue that things would not be happening as fast as I wanted them to was a statement that Rico made…
“You can’t rush a body man.”
And then there is the fact that my body man’s name was Clovis.
No big deal. It was April and I had my Rover til June. If it was a little over when I returned my truck, we had plenty of vehicles around the farm to drive. No big deal.
June came and went.
July rolled around and I got a little “pissy.” OK, alot “pissy.”
I had planned a getaway with my girlfriends and kids to the condo. I was supposed to have a vehicle to haul us all down to the Redneck Riviera.
We ended up borrowing a van from a friend.
By the end of July, it became a very sore subject around the house. As in, sorer than a boil on your ass.
My days were filled hounding Rico about the body man….”You talked to him?”…”Did he give you any idea of when it’s gonna be here?”…
and then became…
“I swear, you are not getting any until you get my truck…Did you tell Clovis that?”
and then it became the thing I was no longer allowed to discuss.
Thus the dialogue became, “You know that thing I can’t talk about? You know anything about it?”…because I’m a turd like that.
Today Rico finally told me the thing I couldn’t discuss was ready.
And so now I present to you, her web debut….
THE BIG ROLLING TURD
And since my truck is finally here, it looks like I have some sexual payback for Rico….I mean, I am a woman of my word.
