family, general

As if I would even consider it

todd-new-gun-029-e

Now that I’m a stay at home mommy or as Rico likes to call me, his “personal love slave”, many people have asked me whether I have considered homeschooling my heathen angelic children.

Well, for those of you who really know me, you can stop laughing your asses off cause you already know the answer.

For the rest of you, I’ll explain why homeschooling isn’t for me and why I will be first in line for school drop off Thursday morning.

My daughters have only said the following things to me this summer:

I’m hungry.

We don’t have anything to eat.

I want more Kool-Aid/juice or as Ella says, “Doocey”

She is hitting/biting/slapping/touching/breathing on me.

Can you wipe me?

I hate you.

Here’s my booger Mommy.

I have only said the following things to my children this summer:

I swear to all that is holy that if I have to come outside one more time, someones gonna be sorry and this time I mean it.

Are you deaf?

You did not just do that.

You are gonna kill that cat if you don’t leave it alone. For the love of God, put THE CAT DOWN!!!

I don’t know why…please do not ask me again.

Let’s go….let’s go…come on….now…I mean it….NOW!!!!

Get in the naughty chair and if you get out, you will sit in it all day. I mean it…and if you don’t believe me…try me. Cause I got nothing to do today but make you sit in the naughty chair. TRY ME.

Stop hitting/biting/slapping/touching/breathing on your sister! I mean it.

Are you all trying to drive me nuts?

I HAVE HAD IT!!!!!

So, as you all can see, our interactions are REALLY not conducive to a learning environment. It’s more conducive to a mental breakdown…which I am on the brink of.

School begins Thursday.

Praise the Lord!

Comments
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  • Sending them off to school each morning does have it's perks.
  • I hear ya! My kids started back to school Tuesday. The dog and I enjoyed the peace and quiet ALL day long.

    Seriously though, I have great respect for those that homeschool. I just know that I could NEVER have the patience or dedication to do it myself.
  • "You are gonna kill that cat if you don’t leave it alone. For the love of God, put THE CAT DOWN!!!"

    This is the most repeated phrase in my house too! Along with-"If you don't leave that cat alone, I'm going to give him away."

    But I am nutty enough to homeschool. Pray for me! LOL!
  • Hah! I think my mom felt the exact same way. Reason 5,678,958 I would like to wait to have kids...until I think I can tolerate a summer like that!
  • Pissy
    My children would not have survived had I home schooled them.

    As it was I put Little Pissy in school when she was 2 years old.

    Seriously.

    It was only 2 mornings a week and it was actually called "2 year old school" by the former teacher who ran it.

    We were in Germany at the time.....southern Bavaria

    If it snowed, I pulled that child to "school" on a sled.

    So yeah, I understand. ;-)
  • Oh boy, I could not homeschool. No way in hell!
  • your lucky. my kid doesn't go back to school until after the holiday. August is always the longest month for me. i have often pondered homeschooling, but have spent the summer saying exactly what you have been saying, and much worse. we need the break from each other. i would lose my marbles if he was here with me all day. take care.
  • I SOOOOO hear you! Everything you said, just with an Australian accent, that's what you'd hear in this house. Honestly, if I had to home school, you'd be hearing a murder/suicide news story involving our address. I am totally in awe/fear of anyone who homeschools. Who are these people and what planet did they come from?
  • Laura
    AMEN!! My sediments exactly!!!!!
  • AiredaleGirl
    In the words of my mother, "If I'd wanted to teach, I would've gotten an education degree." This may be indicative as to why she enrolled me in kindergarten at the age of three...
  • If I hear "hey momma?" one more time, well, I may just jump.
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