Yesterday I spent the day drinking two quarts of Gatorade mixed with two bottles of Miralax. On top of that, I threw in four Dulcolax tablets just for the hell of it.
You can imagine how that ended.
We can send a man to the moon but we can’t invent a better way to prep the bowel for a colonoscopy.
Needless to say, I didn’t leave the house.
My partner in crime, Farm Chick sent me this article to make sure I stayed safe.
TAIPEI (Reuters) – A Taiwanese man became a sitting target for a snake, which bit his penis as sat on the toilet at his rural home, local media reported on Monday.
“As soon as he sat down, he suddenly felt a knife-like pain and reacted instinctively by standing up,” the China Times said. “When he looked down, he saw the big snake.”
The 51-year-old man, from Nantou County, was under medical care with minor injuries, a director at Puli Christian Hospital said.
“As soon as he has passed the risk of infection, he can go,” the director, who declined to be named, said. “A snake’s mouth isn’t always clean.”
Local television images showed the black and yellow reptile, reportedly a species of rat snake, being uncoiled and plucked slowly from the toilet bowl.
Snakes regularly enter rural homes in Taiwan and other sub-tropical regions of Asia.
(Reporting by Ralph Jennings; Editing by Nick Macfie and Miral Fahmy)
Seriously, like I’m not paranoid enough about snakes? I spent the next 12 hours sitting on the toilet, constantly looking in the bowl for some poisonous snake to crawl up my pipes…
Thank you Farm Chick for making my day just a little more pleasant.
