1. Sandboxes and Playdough are the root of all evil.
2. Children can find a mudhole in the Sahara.
3. A clean house is an impossible feat.
4. Macaroni and cheese with a hot dog is a nutritious meal.
5. Kids who eat hot dogs and drink Kool-Aid are 99% more likely to vomit during the night.
6. Other peoples children are lovely until they pick on your children.
7. Nothing is worse than when someone intentionally hurts your child’s feelings.
8. When you are having a bad day at work, your children will make sure you have a hell of a night at home to make you realize work isn’t so bad.
9. Drying bubble gum in the dryer is not a good idea…EVER.
10. Children have the inability to keep anything secret.
11. At age 8, a child knows you’re lying when you tell them Walmart is closed for repairs and painting.
12. At age 9, a child knows you’re breaking the law when you drive over 55 MPH.
13. 911 does not think it’s funny when your child calls them and tells them their mommy is gonna “jerk a knot in their tail.”
14. Never returning to the Dollar Store in a neighboring county after a major tantrum from a three year old is a good idea.
15. Children love their mommies unconditionally.
Thank you Rachel and Ella for being the joy’s of my life.
Mom
