Clearly I’m not winning mother of the year

Easter Sunday.

A day to wear your Sunday best. 

A day where God puts you to the ultimate test, making you sit in church with a 2 year old whacked out on sugar while you try not to cuss under your breath.

It’s the Olympics of motherhood.

(Hold toddler, hold hymnal, rib Rico for playing brick breaker on the Blackberry, try not to laugh at friend for snarky comment out of side of her mouth, try not to let too much boobs hang out of dress, try to sing without offending other worshipers, write check for tithe while watching kid outta one eye, listen to sermon all at the same time while looking calm, cool and collected.)

I’m sitting on the back pew, the most appropriate place for a hussy like myself.

My mother in law is sitting across the aisle creating a perfect runway for my 2 year old.

Joy, He has Risen.

While Ella is hotlappin’ the aisle and I am trying to act all “mother of the year” during the ”meet and greet” portion, my MIL informs me that Ella doesn’t have on any panties.

Yes, people, I took my baby to church on Easter Sunday with no panties.

I spent the next 45 minutes praying with great intestinal fortitude that she would not pull her dress up and display her poochie poochie to the whole congregation.

 I am a believer in miracles, as Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, as God created the world in 7 days and as Christ arose on the third day….

and my miracle was delivered to me, in the back pew of a small Presbyterian church.

Thank you God for miracles, no matter how small.

119 Comments so far
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  • http://thelifetimesoftheperryfamily.blogspot.com/ Trina@ Our Crazy Life

    Shoes and panties are extremely over rated!!

  • http://www.heatherinlebanon.blogspot.com Heather

    Congrats on being SITS star of the day. And for making coffee spew out of my nose upon reading this post.

    I have so been in your shoes. And while my daughter was wearing panties, it was no less horrifying when she peed all OVER the pew (yes, the last one in the back of the church). Gotta love potty training!

  • http://ziggysblogs.blogspot.com Laura Day

    Funny. My daughter would always announce she had no shoes on when we would arrive at our destination (church, Wal-Mart…), but she always had on her panties. Thank goodness.

  • http://adventuresofthereluctanthousewife.blogspot.com Reluctant Housewife

    So funny.

  • http://www.cheeriosunderfoot.blogspot.com lisa

    I’m so there. My kiddos are monsters at church. Great story!

  • http://industrioushead.blogspot.com/ Emily

    That’s really funny! It made my morning.

  • http://highlow92907.blogspot.com Tonya Goin

    Another great post! Happy SITS day!

  • http://meandtheblueskies.com Preston

    Sounds like “Mother of the Year” to me! Very funny story.

  • http://2setsoftwins-helene.blogspot.com/ Helene

    You are hysterical! I got such a good laugh out of this post esp the pantiless part. My daughter has gone out of the house a couple times with a dress on and no panties. We were at the park one day when I noticed this and I said, “why don’t you have underwear on?” and she said (loudly, of course, b/c it’s no fun otherwise if total strangers don’t hear you), “I’m letting my hoo-haw air out”. Lovely….just lovely.

    So I’m not winning Mother of the Year either. We can wallow in our pity together over tequila shots.

  • http://www.houseofnosleep.blogspot.com Cammie

    I can totally see that happening in my world too! They joys of girls

  • http://marymaryrc.blogspot.com maryrc

    LOL!! my mother loves to tell the story of taking me in public with a dress on and my grandmothers panties falling to my ankles…

  • http://familyofshorts.blogspot.com shortmama

    oh my good gravy! Thank God she kept her dress down!

  • http://cutegirlshairstyles.com Mindy

    Most of our embarrassing stories happen at Church too! Five kids is all it takes! Thanks for sharing!

    Mindy
    Adopt a ‘Do – Cute Girls Hairstyles

  • http://Brookebtty.blogspot.com Brooke

    Ha! Seriously amazing!

  • http://diaryofamadwhitemomma.blogspot.com/ lisa

    THAT was so funny! Happy sits day!

  • http://www.thedogsaboytoo.blogspot.com {leah}

    Trying to be modest in church when you have small kids is just ridiculous!!! The family that often sits next to us in church has definately seen more of my body {due to my toddlers pulling at me} than I’m sure they want to….

    Then again, maybe not? ;)

  • http://www.zeemaid.blogspot.com zeemaid

    you see this is why I haven’t taken my kids to a real church yet….. not that I’m a complete heathen, I am a believer, I just cringe at the thought of trying to juggle all that.

    Good for you!

  • http://mimitchells.blogspot.com Jen, buried with children

    now that is just too funny. And yes, praise God for miracles.

  • http://www.thisisworthwhile.blogspot.com Jessica – This Is Worthwhile

    AND count your blessings that her undies didn’t turn up in the donation basket! hahaha My baby is still firmly in diapers, so I don’t know what’s up with all this panty-removing stuff. Remember this post from just a couple of days ago?? hahahha

  • http://www.gliks.blogspot.com Karen MEG

    What a hoot you are, great tale…no pun intended ;) .

  • http://thecordialcricket.blogspot.com Elizabeth Howard

    This has got to be one of the funniest posts I have ever read! Keep em coming, you are really funny and just tell it like it is, which is great!

  • http://mommyswishlist.blogspot.com Lea Ann

    Been there. Done that. Glad I’m not the only one. ha ha ha!

  • http://www.doubletheadventure.com Sharlene

    You are a hoot! Miracles DO happen every day don’t they?

  • http://www.coachabby.blogspot.com Robbie S. Redmon, LPC

    I love your style!

  • http://complicatedsimplicity96.blogspot.com Chandy

    Those are the best times, you didn’t know? I think you just won, “Mother of the Year”. You had my vote at first laugh!

  • http://joytotheblog.blogspot.com Joy

    WOOT! LOL

  • http://www.babesinhairland.blogspot.com The Mom @ Babes in Hairland

    You are freaking hilarious! I’m glad you had a little miracle that day & no one saw the lack of panties on your little girl! Too funny.

  • http://www.nondomesticgoddess.blogspot.com Lynsey

    I just saw this on SITS and I had to comment on this post! I laughed out loud when I read it–and that may or may not be a good thing as there is a sleeping baby in the room! Hilarious.

  • http://bloggingjax.blogspot.com Jackie

    Stopping in from SITS to read your hilarious post! The joy of children- what I have to look forward to someday LOL

  • http://www.aforestfrolic.typepad.com Jamie

    Oh girl, no you didn’t ;-) That is quite hilarious…sounds like something that would happen to us.

    Jamie :)

  • http://maternitytomadness.blogspot.com marlynn

    funny post! Happy SITS day!

  • http://gammasharon.blogspot.com/ Sharon

    LIFE… isn’t it just full of little surprises! God does answer our prayers. All in all… I think you handled it very well. Lol
    Again, Congrats on being the FB.

  • http://www.rachelsdoggielife.blogspot.com Rachel

    hee hee

  • http://www.ashimmyinmyspirit.com Cynthia at A Shimmy In My Spirit

    Great writing…

  • http://missmalu30.blogspot.com Melissa

    Well, at least most Easter dresses are long enough to cover up anyway….LOL

  • http://www.beginningfresh.blogspot.com Betty

    This is so funny!

  • http://controllingmychaos.blogspot.com Jill Scott

    And I thought I was the only one worried about my girls showing their coochies to all. They like to sit with their legs all splayed out like a man. It is so not lady-like.

  • http://laura-edwards.blogspot.com/ Laura

    Too funny! :)

  • http://www.cranberryteatime.blogspot.com Rachel

    :)

  • http://hereswhatletsdo.blogspot.com Mikki

    Fan-freakin-tastic. What a fab Easter! It’s amazing how easy it is for those little bits to slip out of their undies. (Been working with little ones at church for eons now, and it happens A LOT!)

  • http://www.pairslices.blogspot.com Kim

    Still laughing! That is great. I will definately be back.

    Kim

  • http://www.icoulduseadeal.blogspot.com jeanine

    OH my … I usually don’t read blogs that have TOO many words on a page ! But yours are worth it . I’ll subscribe now. Please post often , I need the laughs !

  • http://www.pricillaspeaks.blogspot.com Pricilla

    Well, your prayers were answered :)
    Happy SITS day.

  • http://homedecoratingnews.blogspot.com/ Michelle(hometc)

    I wonder how many people sit in church each Sunday with no underwear on.

  • http://savysuzi.blogspot.com Suzi

    That was a good one. Got a good laugh out of it.

    Happy SITS day!

  • http://aubsfamfive.blogspot.com/ Aubrey

    Oh, oh, oooohhhhh…
    MY GUT!
    Thanks for the laugh!

  • http://mamakatslosinit.blogspot.com Mama Kat

    You mean going panty-less to church is frowned upon???

    Shit.

  • http://AdriansCrazyLife.blogspot.com Adrian

    That is SO funny! Hope you’re enjoying your SITS day.

  • http://www.vickiesscrapbookingandtidbits.blogspot.com Vickie

    Happy SITS day!! My Husband and I take turns going to church. Our little one is still a little crazy in church.

    I am laughing at Farmchicks comment…It keeps her fresh!!

  • http://letsembellish.blogspot.com/ Rita

    Oh man that is funny!