Better to watch you mow in a tank top than to see my fat a$$hole neighbor mow in a short shorts, while drinking from a cheap 40…When he steps out to mow it’s like, “kids go inside while Mommy closes the curtains.”

Have you seen our mower? It’s a reel one. The squeaky kind…with blades…and no motor.

And our yard is not small.

Won’t you be my neighbor?

Once upon a time, Daddy’s tomato vines were mowed down by a classmate of mine who took care of the yard. Daddy questioned the boy’s sanity, parentage, and intelligence in language blue enough and loud enough that I think every person at Legion Park that day could hear it clearly. You don’t mow down a man’s tomatoes and expect him to take it with anything approaching good grace.

I think we are neighbors.

I love the way you eliminate the need for weed eating. Gotta be careful you don’t get too close to the house with that thing though.

Love your new kitchen-kinda makes me want to paint mine that color.