I have some serious issues. Those of you who have followed my crazy little blog know I’m not running on all cylinders and for all you newbies, I’ll just let you know right off the bat, I’m a bit of a klutz.
“Bit of a klutz” is an understatement but I don’t want to be too hard on myself and damage my self esteem. ‘Cause Lord knows I got plenty of that.
Anyhoo, this weekend Rico and I were working on one of our projects, cause were always freaking working on a project and you know what they say, ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SFM GRUMPY AND KLUTZY. While all my bloggie friends were hooping it up in Nashville for the fabulous Blissdom conference, I was working, working, working instead of socializing, drinking, shopping and having girl time. But that’s a whole different post.
So, I was cleaning up this project and this said project is in the process of having laminate flooring put down. But not all the floor is down….so half the floor is laminate and the other half is this thin yellow foam pad you have to put under the flooring. And under parts of the yellow foam pad are several large heating/air return ducts sans metal grates.
So, I says to Rico while looking all fabulous in my mismatched pink and black construction flip flops, “You know, if I don’t watch what I’m doing, I’m gonna step in one of those holes and kill myself.”
And he says, “Yes, my dearest wife, be careful and don’t do that cause if something ever happened to you I could never ever cash in all your life insurance money in singles and bring home some woman name Lexi to raise your children.”
And I laughed cause I knew he was lying.
With that being said, I walk across the room to pick something up and as I sasshay back across the room, I STEP IN THE HOLE and FALL STRAIGHT DOWN IN THE BOWELS OF AIR CONDITIONING VENT HELL UP TO MY ASS.
I have one leg in purgatory and one leg straight out on the floor in some kind of short bus cheerleader wanna be splits.
I’m screaming and crying and scared to death that my one pedicure for the last six months is ruined….RUINED, I SAY!!!!
So, Rico gets me out and is looking for blood ’cause he’s sure I have cut my coochie off. Praise the Lord, my coochie is spared but my butt is bruised and battered.
Then Rico says to me, “You OK?”
And I tell him “Yes.”
And then he goes on to inform me that if I want to go to the gym I should probably get going seeing as he is going coyote hunting in about an hour and a half.
Now, I have just fell through the freaking floor and he wants to know if I am going to the gym. REALLY???? REALLY????
He thought it’d be good for me to work the soreness out.
And had I been able to get off the floor at this point and time, this is where you all would’ve been reading how I had been incarcerated for murdering my husband. REALLY.