around town, family, general

Winter Weather Message

This is why there isn’t a loaf of bread or gallon of milk in any grocery store in the state of Kentucky…

“urgent – winter weather message
national weather service Louisville KY
435 pm est mon jan 26 2009

…ice storm warning remains in effect from 10 pm est /9 pm cst/
this evening to 1 pm est /12 pm cst/ tuesday…

a mix of light rain…freezing rain and sleet will begin late
this evening before changing to all freezing rain and sleet after
midnight across south central Kentucky. up to one inch of sleet
accumulation along with ice accumulations of one quarter to one
half inch are expected overnight.”

Yesterday we heard on the radio that winter was coming.

Bring it on I say!

Then they said “ice” was coming…and then I shut up.

Snow is fun…ice is not.

 

Here in Hooterville, we are not accustomed to real winter weather.

We occasionally get a few flurries but hardly ever a good enough snow to go sledding…especially sledding on a car hood being pulled by a four wheeler….now that’s a redneck winter wonderland.

And when the weatherman calls for inclement weather, every redneck, in every nook and cranny of this county, comes to the local IGA and buys out all the milk and bread…as if milk and bread’s gonna save you from starvation in a ice storm.

Me? I get beef jerky and vodka….that will keep you alive for weeks.

Ice means no electricity…which means no heat, no video games, no Barney tapes, no bologna which equals hell.

It also means that I can’t use my flat iron and my hair will be a hot tranny mess when the EMS people take me to the loony bin after being home with the kids with no electronic buffers.

Please pray.

11 Comments so far
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  • Tonya

    can u save the next bed in your padded cell? I want to keep you company…..I am in the same boat except I will be home with a 13 year old who is grounded from her cell phone…house phone…and her computer…i think my hell maybe worse…lets just call EMS now!!!!

  • http://www.mrs007.com Ashley @ mrs007.com

    Lol! I will pray for your sanity…and your hair. Because we can NOT have you looking like a hot tranny mess!

  • http://www.twistedfencepost.wordpress.com Becky

    Praying for ya girl!!
    When it gets too bad, just take another swig of that vodka!!

  • http://www.whentheworldstops.typepad.com Candace

    Oh, Lord! We had an ice storm last year that knocked the power out for two days. I thought I was gonna DIE!!!! Nevermind that the surrounding communities were without power for three weeks. I was an insane psychopath after a mere 48 hours.

    You’re better prepared than I was with your vodka and jerkey. I’m keeping you and yours in my thoughts!

  • http://musingsfrompodunk.blogspot.com Lauren

    I used to live in an area fraught with ice storms (Kansas City, MO) so I completely relate. Now I live in Minnesota and am blessed with both. Hang in there and make sure the cabinet is stocked with vodka and valium.

  • http://www.blindpigandtheacorn.com tipper

    It’s a southern thing-you gotta go after milk and bread at the first hint of snow or ice. Hope the ice wasn’t too bad at your house.

  • http://wwwitsasmalltownlife.blogspot.com Farmchick

    Dearest SFM,
    You know I went and bought 2 gallons of milk AND an extra loaf of bread. It is too bad that they don’t sell valium at the local grocery.
    Your friend in parental suffering,
    Farmchick

  • Dejoni

    Farm Chick,
    You don’t fool me. You may have bought milk and bread but I know you have a stash of vodka. LOl!

  • http://planethotflash.blogspot.com/ Queen of Planet Hotflash

    I have limbs falling all around me, my poor dogs are going insane because they hear them before we do, so far we have electricity. Pictures of the Ice Age tomorrow that is if my batteries hold out

  • AiredaleGirl

    Oh, how COULD you forget the third staple in that unholy trinity, what the ad execs refer to as “bathroom tissue”- aka TOILET PAPER. Can you possibly fathom the depths of hell to which you’d sink if you ran out of that?

    You weren’t living here when S.A.M. and I were in second and third grades. We had over three feet of accumulation and were out of school for a solid month. We actually towed our sled, with Mom, of course, all the way across Hospital Hill, down to what is now Save-a-Lot, to get bread and milk. Dad just filched John Wayne toilet paper from the office. Two of my friends’ mothers did have nervous breakdowns and ended up in Our Lady of Peace.

  • Laura

    When I was little and they annouced snow, I noticed that everyone would go buy milk, eggs, and bread…..I thought you had to make French Toast when it showed :-)