Farm Chick and I just had our Christmas get together. No children…no testosterone. Only girlie gossip…general complaining/man bashing…and present exchanging.
It was an evening full of laughter…trying to buy a life size burro from the Mexicans…and general good time.
Farm Chick presented me with this box…and I’m thinking she got me a box of fruit. And for all you people out there who don’t know…I hate fruit…HATE IT…ALL OF IT…unless it’s pureed and mixed with lots of liquor.
Anyhoo, I open the box…and tada! It’s a redneck girl’s Christmas dream!!!!
A festive pitcher with matching glasses to get tanked…a hedge apple to keep the spiders away…and Astroglide for relations with my husband…cause sometimes spit just don’t do the trick!
(To the parents and in-laws…pretend the above sentence does not exist…you know your grandchildren were immaculately conceived.)
(To Rico…thank you for the rockin’ Sigma 10-20mm lense that I took these pics with…I guess sometimes bad girls do get presents from Santa!)
Farmchick said,
December 22, 2008 at 9:29 pm:
You gift me with a wonderful scarf/glove combo trimmed with rabbit fur and I am handing out Astroglide….hmmmm. Toots already has glitter eyeshadow everywhere. I should have bought Ella that tube of red lipstick!
Lauren said,
December 23, 2008 at 11:57 am:
Astroglide! LOL I know what Santa is leaving in DH’s stocking this year! WOOHOO!!! Happy New Year at our house!
(ps thanks for your nice comments on my Reading Grounds blog. I posted the link to my other one here, and have added you to my favorites. Again, love your style!)
Queen of Planet Hotflash said,
December 23, 2008 at 5:06 pm:
Try the his and hers KY Jelly… um, yep
anyways I love that pitcher and glass set
hedge apple for spiders???? splain please
Merry Christmas and many blessings to you and yours
from me & mine
AiredaleGirl said,
December 23, 2008 at 5:07 pm:
AHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love it. Perfect!
Dejoni said,
December 23, 2008 at 5:11 pm:
Dearest Queen,
Hedge apples are hard to find…but it’s true…if you place them around your house (closets, etc.), they keep spiders away.
However, don’t do what I do and forget about them and let them rot.
Not good…not good at all!
Momisodes said,
December 24, 2008 at 12:55 am:
What a fabulous package! WAY better than fruit
And she included lube? Now that’s is what you call a friend.
ivana clay said,
December 26, 2008 at 12:59 pm:
Sounds to me like the best gift ever!
Hope you all had a blessed Christmas and are looking forward to 2009!
pissy said,
December 27, 2008 at 10:55 pm:
ok….I know what Astroglide is….but what the heck is a “hedge apple”?!?!? LOL
C said,
December 28, 2008 at 6:55 am:
ok, i see you know someone named todd. ok, i must pass this on to you and i hope you enjoy….
repeat these sentences faster and faster every time you say them OUTLOUD. hopefully in the company of others. so they can hear ya. ready? ok, here goes;
I am wee todd it.
I am sofa king wee todd it.
yeah, thats right.
:0 
there ya go chickie…..
C
C said,
December 28, 2008 at 6:59 am:
P.S.
HAIL to da queen.
Dearest C, » Southern Fried Momma said,
December 29, 2008 at 10:55 pm:
[...] (For all of you in the dark, read this post and comments to catch up http://southernfriedmomma.com/2008/12/22/what-every-redneck-woman-wants-for-christmas/ ) [...]
Candace said,
January 9, 2009 at 2:13 pm:
Love your post! Love your blog! I needed a laugh today, and the Astroglide description did the trick.