My long holiday weekend started off great as Rico and I had Wednesday night sans the children. No cartoons…no juice cups…some adult fun and uninterrupted sleep. HEAVEN….that is until the house alarm goes off at 2 a.m. with blaring sirens and an electronic voice screaming, “INTRUDER ALERT…INTRUDER ALERT!!”
Rico grabs the Glock and heads down the stairs to put a cap in someone’s ass and I’m looking for a baseball bat to beat the hell out of them for waking me up. Go ahead…steal my crap…but DON’T WAKE ME UP!
Turned out to be a false alarm…PTL!
Black Friday 4 a.m., my friends head up to Wally World to get score some great deals. I, being a sane person, stayed home. ”Hot Momma” had her eye on a particular electronic device and was first in line for cutting open the crate. Next thing she knew, she was knocked down and trampled. Once up, she fought to get her item and walking off she noticed a woman lying on the floor trampled with her pants pulled half down.
People are nuts.
I had one child to care for today. One kid…one house…one dinner for friends to prepare. Sounds easy enough.
In a five minute span, I was burning cornbread…setting off the house alarm (which means the security company has called me twice in less than 12 hours). As I was trying to remember my password and have them turn the siren off, Ella was sitting in a car seat in the middle of the sun porch with her daddy’s car keys…making the truck pop open and setting off the car alarm all the while yelling, “Wook Mommy!”
Finally things settle down and I go pee having held it in during the “Let’s scare the crap out of Momma moment.” Ella, seeing an opportunity to help, is trying to push a potty seat under my butt and screaming “Grunt Mommy” while shoving Elmo books in my face.
I think I’d been better off going to Walmart.
Things brightened up tremendously when Farm Chick brought this table centerpiece made from a Reader’s Digest….
How can you have a bad day when you have such a FABULOUS TURKEY on your dinner table!
