There are few times in life when you and the universe become one and true mental clarity is achieved. I had an epiphany this weekend that shook me to my core, made me break out in cold sweat and in tuned my mush brain into the sharp, functioning organ it should be.
All this occurred while sitting on the porcelain throne in the throws of the dreaded stomach virus. It’s at this moment that I discovered when you really have to take a crap NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.
In the grips of tightening your butt cheeks and the shuffle/run down the hall to the bathroom, it doesn’t matter who won the election…if your kids are writing on the walls with crayons…or if the economy is gonna keep spiraling down the tube and we’re gonna starve to death.
It pales in comparison to being sick in your pants.
All that matters is that you keep your deathly butt clench and sit down without spraying the wall behind you or your ruining your favorite sweatpants.
This, my friends, is the life changing lesson Oprah has been talking about and I’m so happy I could share it with you.
I will be available for the talk show circuit starting Monday to enlighten the few people who don’t read my blog.
Thank you and Goodnight,
A Slightly Dehydrated SFM