Travelling with a toddler isn’t all sunshine and roses. Yeah, you occasionally have a few of those Hallmark moments…the ones you remember or else you’d never take them on vacation again.

Going to the grocery with a toddler can be overwhelming…let alone several hundred miles. These families that go on vacation and it’s all hunky-dory…well, their kids are drugged and the momma’s got a Valium salt lick. It’s like those rednecks in Georgia that said they caught Sasquatch…it ain’t all what it seems.

Ella is like Sally Field in that movie “All About Eve”…you never know what personality is gonna emerge. You have to stay on your toes so you’re always prepared for which personality you have to deal with. I often refer to her moods as the redneck seven dwarfs…Ornery, Pissy, Slap Happy, Passed Out, Stinky, Gassy, and Puny.

This is classic Pissy…eyes welled up as if she’s gonna cry but she willfully holds the tears in to look pitiful, lips quivering, alot of loud wailing and pissed off gibberish which I refer to as getting the “toddler cussin’”. You don’t understand what she’s saying…but you know it’s not nice.

This is Passed Out. It’s a rare and beautiful site. When this occurs…you should sit back and thank God for the blessing of this ten minutes of peace.

This is Ornery. She ain’t quite to the Pissy stage but she ain’t Slap Happy either. This consumes the majority of our day. At this stage, you work really hard to make her happy but usually you just piss her off.

This is Gassy. She’s thinking, “Do I have to poop…or is it just noise?” The degree of redness to her face usually answers the question.

This is Stinky, seeing as she’s had the “pool water” bath now for a couple days.

Hey, don’t be judging…it’s vacation and there’s chlorine in the pool…she’s clean enough.

This is classic Slap Happy. It’s when Ella is a joy to be around and there’s world peace and sunshine and flowers. It’s like spotting a real blond at a beauty pageant…rare.

We left Puny at home. We’re hoping she doesn’t find out where we are.

Yesterday, after a record 8 1/2 inches of rain…we woke up to this. Yes, I’m in Rico’s boxers…aren’t they sexy?  

This was the bottom floor of our condo parking garage. It was rainy and yucky…so we decided to go somewhere.

I found a Southern Fried Momma liquor store. Just kidding…but the thought of two kids in a condo while it was pouring down rain made me think really hard about it.

Instead, we headed to the National Aviator Museum in Pensacola…home of the Blue Angels.

Ray-Ray and Ella learned alot about history…and I tried to keep my sanity.

We came back to the condo…and the clouds parted.

Rico tried a little boogie boarding….

Ella did a little whining…

and I got a little more freckled. Yeah, the freckle face is hereditary.

We’ve found lots of pretty shells like these…

and these.

Ella got tickled when the waves came over her feet…

and Ray-Ray spent the day catching jelly fish…62 of them in all.

Rico and my father in law flew a kite…

and then tried to use Ella as shark bait.

I went kite sailing. See me do some tricks? Alright, I didn’t go kite sailing…but I wanted to.

Instead, I sat in the beach chair and played in the sand.

There are actual pictures of me at the beach…but when Rico has the camera it usually involves me bending over in a bathing suit…and I ain’t showing ya’ll that.

I am here on the beach.

Don’t be too envious. It was a long car ride with Barney playing continuously because Ella wouldn’t wear her headphones. The girls kept looking at each other…touching each other…and playing with each others toys, which meant that I played referee for 12 hours. All this after staying out til 3 a.m. at a friend’s wedding where I thought I could dance in stilettos for 6 hours.

I am not as young as I used to be…but I can still cut a rug.

On the upside, no one farted and stuck up the truck. Rachel is sleeping on the pull out couch and Ella is sleeping with Mimi. Thus, Rico and I are sleeping in the twin beds…pulled together for an extra romantic touch.

My motto for the week: “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink…when they wake up in the morning it’s the best they’re gonna feel all day long.”

Tonight I was working in the kitchen and Ella was leaned up against the kitchen cabinets. She looked all sweet and innocent in her pink princess pajamas. “Sugar and spice and everything nice….”

While grinning from ear to ear, she lifts her leg and lets one rip. I don’t mean a little toot…I’m talking a fart to mimic a sonic boom or my husband after a night of drinking beer and eating Mexican. I’m talking FART…big, bad, stinky fart.

I turn around and say “Ella, what was that?”

“Noise” she replies…”from my butt.”

Then in her most endearing voice she says, “Again” and lifts her leg again and dropped a bomb.

I can promise you all that she has NEVER witnessed this behavior from me. She may have heard me “toot”…real lady like…but I have never lifted my leg and let one rip. She has never heard me FART.

Guess who I can thank for this “passing of the torch” moment?

I won’t name names or anything but I can tell you HE lives in THIS house and sleeps in MY bed.

We had this beautiful sunset a couple of days ago on our anniversary. A perfect ending to a wonderful day.

I never really paid much attention to the sky and it’s magnificent colors until I started photography. Now when I see the evening sun setting it sometimes stops me in my tracks. Breathtaking colors and shapes fill the sky…it’s sad I never noticed before.

I think of Stevie Wonder when he sings this song. Is this what he pictures in his mind for a sunset? Does he see the pink hues as they swirl against the pale blue background? Where did he get his inspiration?

I hope this is what he pictures in his mind. It’s perfect.