I had a revelation tonight. My child talks like Forrest Gump.
While watching it with Rico, we both stopped mid-sentence and looked at each other and just busted out laughing. It’s uncanny. The kid could be the spawn of Forrest. And yes, I know my baby daddy ain’t Forrest Gump.
She “drawls” all her words out like a real southern lady but then she adds a degree of baritone and it’s anything but feminine.
”MAAMA, YOU AND ME’S LIKE PEEAS AND CAAROTS”…”MAAMA, BAH-WOONIE ON A PLAATE”…”HAALP ME, MAAMA”…”LOUTENAANT DANN…YOU GOT NEEW LEGGS.”
Ya’ll remember the scene in the movies where “Sweet Home Alabama” comes on and he and Jenny are dancing in the living room? That’s how Ella dances. It’s a cross between “feeding the chickens” and “shake your booty white girl with no rhythm.”
AND…the kid likes shrimp… shrimp salad, shrimp gumbo. shrimp cocktail, shrimp soup…
No one can PROVE I had a secret, torrid affair in Greenbo, Alabama that resulted in a Gump love child…and that’s all I’m gonna say about that.