First of all, I really appreciate all the babysitting you’ve done for me lately. There’s been a lot of all- nighters that I don’t think I could have made it without you.
You’ve really taught Ella alot. You know… colors, shapes, manners…and those stupid little songs that she sings over and over. The ones that I find myself singing over and over and over.
However, I feel we’ve grown an unhealthy attachment to you. You run continuously on every DVD player in the house and cars.
Why is it we feel we have to have you 24/7? Will life as we know it stop to exist? Will we wither up and die?
No, Mr. Purple Dinosaur…we won’t. Life will go on…seasons will change…we will find more cartoons. Cartoons that are actually entertaining. Cartoons that will not encourage me to have homicidal thoughts.
Sometimes when I’m watching you sing and dance…I have this overwhelming urge to find you and push you down…and stomp a little…OK, alot. I know my kids would be horrified…but I would feel SO much better.
You’re old Barney. A has been…it’s time to retire. You need to lay on the beach somewhere in a big green thong and enjoy life. Drink fruity little drinks. Live the good life.
No more hanging around the school yard for you…it’s done. Besides, hanging out at the school all day is starting to make people think your a pedophile. It’s just getting creepy.
So, I’m saying adieu.
Adios, Barney….we are letting you go.
On second thought, could you just forget all that? Ella will be back from Nana’s tomorrow and it may be a long night.