Gettin' my nails did.

Patience people…patience! Sit back get your nails did and have a cocktail.

Very soon my new website will be up and runnin’ like a cow with the scours. I am SO excited.

Wait a minute…We’re here…WE’RE FINALLY HERE!!!!!

Welcome to my new site! I am so excited you’re here.

I have really enjoyed blogging. It doesn’t matter if 1000 people read my blog or it’s just me and my peeps…I have had so much fun and gotten to know so many cool people. There’s also something very freeing about being able to have your say…and that it has the potential to be heard all over the world. And ya’ll know me…I think everybody should hear my opinion and experience my witty personality.

I looked for several weeks for someone to design my new blog. I emailed lots of people who blog…some responded…some didn’t. But no one could really point me in the direction to start. I needed some guidance…cause I am pretty computer illiterate.

By luck, I found Lara at Blog What? Designs. We’ve never met. But if we ever do, I will give her a big ole hug and a fifth of Kentucky bourbon. She has been wonderful.

She started with my current website to get a feel of who I am and what I like…and off she went. She guided me in the direction I needed to go while letting me be creative, letting my inner country glamour queen shine through. She didn’t laugh at me too much…except maybe when she told me she had put an RSS subscription feed on my site…and I was all like “That’s wonderful…great…Hey, Lara…What is RSS?”

Or when we were doing my little character on the front of the blog and I said we needed to adjust her boobs because she was a little nippy, if you know what I mean…and I never go without a bra. She taught me the ins and outs of my new blog page while not making me feel stupid. So, for any of my blogger buddies looking to update or redo your site…check out Lara at Blog What? Designs.

Thank you Lara for all your help!

Our town square.

Long before it was hip to go to farmers markets…before people like Martha Stewart made it uppity…we’ve had the square.

Our town square has been a social hub for the community for hundreds of years. We are home to the oldest courthouse west of the Alleghanys and though foot traffic has slowed somewhat over the years…it still remains.

Spending their days sitting on the courthouse chain chewing tobacco and shooting the breeze…selling produce from their farms to those of us who were to busy this year to have our own garden.

Some people may think we live backward, sheltered lives here in our little small town…and when I was younger, I would have probably agreed.

Now that I’m older and wiser…a mother…I find a sense of comfort in this community. I enjoy smiling at people on the square and them smiling back at me…walking leisurely…enjoying a slower pace of life.

Why is it when my daughter decided to take her shirt off in the middle of town square, everyone, including my mother, said she takes after me.
Are people trying to imply something? Are they trying to say I am not the proper demure Southern woman I should be?
Even Scarlett had her moments…that red hussy dress wasn’t exactly angelic.

Tonight after my husband made me watch the Outdoor channel for fifteen hours and constantly jabbed me in the ribs going “Honey, Look at that”…I kinda had a momentary lapse of reasoning.
I had this uncontrollable urge to smear a spoonful of pie onto his shiny head.
Mission accomplished. I feel so much better.

My father-in-law imports these Japanese mini-trucks. People from all over buy them to use for agriculture, industry and just to goof of with. Most are 4 wheel drive and some even have dump beds which are great to use for landscaping.
I have been begging my husband to keep this one for me and pimp it out. Paint it hot pink with some flames down the side…a lift kit and some spinners…a kickin’ sound system…a champagne fountain in the back.
Next thing you know, I’ll have a show on Spike TV called Most Extreme Challenge Pimp Your Japanese Ride.

Well, it turns out I have the “bestest” attorney in the South. He’s tall and blond like Matthew McCounaghey in a “Time to Kill” but acts a lot more like Harry Rex…although I’ve never seen him wear a seersucker suit. He’s married to a real sweet southern gal.
Anyhoo, he’s talked to the authorities down there in Sweet Home Alabama and they’ve agreed that I would be much more trouble on the inside than the out.
Word had gotten around that I might be on my way down there to work on the chain gang and letters have been pouring into the Department of Corrections.
It seems a number companies…i.e {MAC Cosmetics, Victoria’s Secret, Coach, Via Spiga) were really concerned about the drop of revenue that would incur with my incarceration. They felt with the economy being so shaky…it just wasn’t a good idea.
So, the higher ups have agreed that I should attend driving school (as if…I KNOW how to drive…how else could I handle a car at such high speeds)and pay court cost and promise never, ever to drive in the state of Alabama again. The last part was just my stipulation but as I see it if I can’t drive…I never have to be the designated driver…MORE FUN FOR MOMMA!
So, peace out to Shaniqua and Sharon. I know I promised you girls cigarettes to cover my back in the pokey. I’m a girl of my word. See you on Sunday visitation with a bucket of chicken and a carton of cigs!

When I was pregnant, I kept telling my mom that my baby would have red hair. She told me that if she did we’d have to leave her at the hospital.
I think my mom endured years of torture over her red hair. I love red hair and I’m glad Ella inherited it. Let’s hope she inherited her good heart also.
So Mom, can we keep her?

Today as we were driving along in Rico’s new Caddy, he turns to me and says, “If there was ever anything in this world I was ever good at, it was mechanical bull riding. When I walked into the Sawmill everyone knew I was there to ride the bull.”
Y’all can imagine the look on my face. It couldn’t have got any stranger than if I had woke up one morning and discover I had grown a penis.
Mind you, Rico is manly. He hunts, shoots rifles and pistols, occasionally dips tobacco and spits…but mechanical bull riding? Is that even manly?
If he had told me he’d once been a real bull rider and lost his two front teeth, my heart would have swelled with pride…but mechanical bull riding? Isn’t that something that drunk blond girls do? (Not that I know anything about that sort of subject.)
I asked him about this famous time period of his life and he informed me that it was during college. I told him I was unaware of his celebratory status and that I was sorry that I missed all the…you know…all the mechanical bull riding paparazzi.
So for all you gals out there…eat your heart out…I’m married to a MECHANICAL BULL RIDING HOTTIE who wears golf shirts and writes with a fountain pen.

Keep an eye out for my new website www.southernfriedmomma.com. It should be up and running next week. When it’s up, I’ll put a redirect on this site.
We will celebrate with some cool giveaways like a trip to Turtle Island in Fiji…or maybe just some cool stuff off of Etsy.com.
Anyhoo…stay tuned!