Today as we were driving along in Rico’s new Caddy, he turns to me and says, “If there was ever anything in this world I was ever good at, it was mechanical bull riding. When I walked into the Sawmill everyone knew I was there to ride the bull.”
Y’all can imagine the look on my face. It couldn’t have got any stranger than if I had woke up one morning and discover I had grown a penis.
Mind you, Rico is manly. He hunts, shoots rifles and pistols, occasionally dips tobacco and spits…but mechanical bull riding? Is that even manly?
If he had told me he’d once been a real bull rider and lost his two front teeth, my heart would have swelled with pride…but mechanical bull riding? Isn’t that something that drunk blond girls do? (Not that I know anything about that sort of subject.)
I asked him about this famous time period of his life and he informed me that it was during college. I told him I was unaware of his celebratory status and that I was sorry that I missed all the…you know…all the mechanical bull riding paparazzi.
So for all you gals out there…eat your heart out…I’m married to a MECHANICAL BULL RIDING HOTTIE who wears golf shirts and writes with a fountain pen.
